By definition, a standard is something accepted as normal or average. If you hold someone to a certain standard, then it may be non-negotiable for you if another person cannot or does not match you at that level.
As is the case for Kylah Blakney, 21, when it comes to racism and colorism.
“If I ever hear someone trying to justify a racist act by siding with ignorance, ‘maybe this,’ ‘maybe that,’ no part of me wants to sit around and hear that,” she said.
Calling attention to the case of Ahmaud Arbery, a 25-year-old Black man who was shot and killed on a jog near his home on the outskirts of Brunswick, Georgia. According to the New York Times, the killers—a father, Gregory, and son, Travis McMichael—told police that Arbery looked like a man suspected in several break-ins in the area.
The Brunswick news, citing documents obtained through a public records request, reported there had been just one burglary in the neighborhood since in the two months leading up to the shooting, the NYT said.
“He was exercising!” Blakney said. “He was just running, exercising, trying to make his life better by being healthy, and someone sees him and is ‘immediately threatened by him?’ I don’t have any tolerance for that.”
People who gloss over racist actions or colorist actions are at the top of Blakney’s list regarding things that are standards for her; both in friendships and relationships, she said.
Colorism, or segregation within one’s own demographic, is especially triggering to Blakney because of the injustices Black Americans already face from other races, she said.
“Why are we going to pit ‘darker Black girls’ against ‘lighter-skinned Black girls?’” she asked. “It just makes no sense to me!”
Blakney credits much of her education and knowledge about the world to her mother who would sit and watch different news stations and broadcasts with her, leading up to the Trump v. Clinton presidential election—the first election Blakney was legal to vote in.
Kylah Blakney, 21, lives in Jacksonville, Florida, where she grew up with her parents and two older brothers.
“We would just sit there and watch what they had to say and then she would pause or turn the TV off and simply ask me what I saw,” Blakney said. “It was a very healthy and honest way to learn about how I want to consume my news, but also made me more aware of how some people view and see me for being black.”
Another example, she explained, is that of the George Floyd case.
“You have one network telling you that this man was a criminal, a thief and high on drugs, but then you click over and you see that whole video and it’s like, ‘damn. How is anyone not showing this?’” she said.
When Blakney listens to, or watches the news, she is looking for the simple facts to start out, she said. A timeline of what is happening, who is involved, where it’s occurring, when it started and how it started. Outside of that, I don’t want your opinion, she said.
Once she fully understands the background of a situation, then she dives deeper into the different thoughts and opinions people have, she said. What are people on the left saying? People on the right? How do the men feel, how do women feel? She said, for example.
“I don’t want to be ‘prepared’ for something bad to happen,” she said. “But I do want to be informed.”
Growing up in her Black family, Blakney was conditioned to be hyper-aware; living with two older brothers will do that to you, she said.
“I have always known that just by being a woman, I am at risk for certain things,” she said. “I can’t go walking around by myself at night, I’ll probably have to try harder to get a job—things like that.”
But, growing up with two black brothers, she was always receiving random text messages or news articles from her parents warning her siblings to avoid certain areas because it was not safe or accepting of Black people, more specifically, Black men, she said.
“I think being the youngest, let alone only daughter in a Black family, I am always going to make sure I am checking in with my brothers, telling them I love them, because I never know when something is going to happen,” she said. “I would never be prepared for it, but I am aware that it is possible.”
These are conversations Blakney is especially intentional about having with people she lets into her inner circle, she said. Needing others to understand her culture, her behaviors and why certain things trigger her more than others.
“I like to hear both political sides and I like to listen to people who have different opinions than me, even in a nonpolitical or racial setting,” she said. “But that does not mean I am going to agree with you or, if especially if you are racist, seek out another interaction with you.”
Racism remains at the top of Blakney’s standards for people she interacts with, she said, and plenty of others hold people to this same standard. Do you?
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Never stopped to really think about the term 'colorism?' Me neither. No shame in admitting our ignorances; only shame is not doing something about it. Watch Blakney and myself discuss the term and what it means!
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